After a rough start in Tulum, I wondered if I had made the biggest mistake of my life. My first day was riddled with moments that cut deep: seeing a man collapse on the street from drugs, surrounded by his loud, ragtag crew; a scraggly, homeless dog hobbling by on a broken leg; being yelled at in a store by a man who demanded I speak Spanish—me replying meekly, “yo voy escuela de español mañana, lo siento”; and an overall feeling of being out of place, a single gringa target.
I retreated to my casita, which, thankfully, feels perfect for me. I decided not to go out for two days. Those days were marked by heavy downpours, power outages, computer glitches, and relentless city noise that blared into the night. I stuffed toilet paper in my ears, desperate for a little peace. During those dark hours, I picked up The Catcher in the Rye, a worn copy I’d found in a Mérida coffee shop that the owners kindly lent me for this journey. Holden Caulfield’s words kept me company as I sat with dread, regret, and the nagging question: Was burning down my life in the U.S. really the right move?
But then came the third morning. Sunshine. Blue skies. A shift. I opened my eyes to the light, and for the first time since arriving, I thought: I might just go out today. First, though—coffee. I sat down with my cup, opened my laptop, and—miracle—no glitches. Everything worked. I made my to-do list for my new client’s website, reminded of why I’m here: not to be a tourist, but to find balance as a digital nomad.
And that’s when I saw it—movement on the kitchen windowsill. A lizard.
In my world, everything is a sign. I googled “lizard spirit animal” and read:
- Adaptability & Flexibility: Lizards thrive in changing environments.
- Regeneration & Renewal: Shedding the old to grow anew.
- Awareness & Intuition: Opening the “third eye” of inner vision.
- Dreaming & Vision: Messengers from the dream world.
- Patience & Energy: Rest, then act.
- Good Fortune: Symbols of luck and prosperity.
The message was clear: be flexible, let go of what no longer serves you, trust your intuition, conserve your energy, and believe in new growth.
As if to affirm this, my phone buzzed with a message from a new acquaintance I’d met in Mérida. He sent me a photo of the sunrise from his beach home with the words: “When the sun rises, with it brings newness of life.”
And there it was—confirmation.
So today, I feel that all is right in the world. Yes, there will be discomfort, loneliness, noise, and fear. Change is rarely smooth. But there will also be light, kindness, and signs along the way to remind us that the universe has our backs. Spirit is in charge.
This morning, with my coffee in hand, the lizard on my sill, and the sun in the sky, I am grateful. I ease into my day, choosing to look for the similarities, the kindness, and the beauty that surrounds me in this crazy, beautiful jungle I now call home for the next few weeks.
Let the adventure unfold.
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